


Ray of Light

by Seleayn



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3 Rarepairs Week 2020, Day 3:One's Strength/Fear, Friendship, Gen, Not Beta Read, Platonic Relationships, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Love, Signs of Depression, sad/happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25289470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seleayn/pseuds/Seleayn
Summary: There are days where Tsumugi feels disheartened from acting, not enough to make him quit again, though. But he cannot help but just have those days where you slightly lose interest from the things you claim to love.Written for Day 3:One's Strength/One's Fear
Relationships: Sakuma Sakuya & Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Ray of Light

**Author's Note:**

> Technically it's already July 16 in my country when I posted this, but since it's still July 15 somewhere in the world- I'd like to think this is still valid ^^

The feeling of helplessness, hollowness, and unmotivated- Tsumugi felt all these too familiar emotions when he decided to take a day off from everything else and just wander around the town to put his mind off the negative emotions he is experiencing.

He visited the flower shop he frequently showed up, took a stroll from the town's park to observed the wildflowers, even stayed five-hours in his favorite café and people watch just to get rid of the unenthusiastic feeling from the very thing he loved the most.

Acting.

He once quit being an actor when he was rejected from GOD-za, and returned because he cannot entirely give up on it. But days like these where you just feel tired from the things you vowed to never run away still resurface once in a while, so Tsumugi knows his love will come again to him in just a few days.

He just wished he did not feel this way. Ever.

Although Tsumugi knows it'll come back to him again, he always fears that one day it will be a permanent feeling he will have- to be unmotivated from acting and someday quit and run away again.

He doesn't want that, and he doesn't even want to feel this way again.

* * *

It was nearing evening when Tsumugi passed by the river-side area of the town, he spent this day just visiting the places he enjoyed in hopes that his love for acting will spark once again (and wishing it will never diminish), but so far it has yet to be successful.

His mind went back to remembering the past where he first acted on stage with Tasuku when he heard a familiar voice below the road he is walking and saw a red-headed boy moving beside the river.

"...Sakuya-san?" Tsumugi squinted his eyes a bit just to see Sakuya more clearly. He may have heard the red-headed lad from this distance, but he still is quite far from where he is standing from Sakuya.

He slowly went down the stairs of the steeped hill to approach Sakuya and just watched him act on his own, it was almost dinner time, but they have time to spare. Besides, he and Sakuya could go home together, knowing the younger lad tends to lose track of time when he is acting on his own, just like the last time.

_'Must be nice, to not lose sight of what you love'_ Tsumugi thought as he sat on the grass, seems like Sakuya hasn't noticed him yet.

Tsumugi watched Sakuya's solo acting, his back facing him, and a script by his left hand. Sakuya's movement was a bit awkward, Tsumugi thought, but that's because it's a play that the red-headed boy hasn't acted out before.

But Tsumugi was very familiar with the play.

So when Sakuya stopped at one of his character's lines, the older lad got up and acted out the other character's line by heart, earning a sharp turn and a surprised gasp from Sakuya.

"Tsu-tsumugi-san! How long have you been watching me?" Sakuya was flustered, having caught by surprise that even if they have seen each other act, it still made him feel embarrassed.

"Sorry for surprising you, Sakuya-san. I was walking around town when I passed by this area and saw you act by yourself. So I decided to watch for a bit until I realize the play your acting is one of my favourites." Tsumugi softly smiled at the younger boy.

"It's not a problem, you just caught me off guard, Tsumugi-san! It's the first time someone act with me here, so I was surprised at first" Sakuya's cheerfulness made Tsumugi warm on the inside. The red-headed boy's enthusiasm never fails to lift anyone's spirit even if the person itself doesn't realize it.

_'I get what Director-san meant,'_ Tsumugi thought, chuckling as he remembers what Izumi said about Sakuya being an angel sent from above to lift the spirit of anyone in the dorms up.

"Tsumugi-san?" Sakuya asked in a confused tone, seeing the older man silently laugh by himself.

"It's nothing, say, why don't we act out the play together? I know the play by heart so you can keep the script to yourself," Tsumugi immediately said, his spirit already lifting up from talking to Sakuya.

"Is that so? Then I'll be on your care, Tsumugi-san!" Sakuya chirpily, clearing his throat to continue where they left off a while ago.

_'I hope I don't sound too unmotivated,'_ Tsumugi thought as he cleared his throat and continued the next line.

* * *

It was already late in the evening, Tsumugi knows because dinner was almost finished since both he and Sakuya received multiple LIME text from their fellow actors and Izumi. Still, they didn't mind it too much since the two leaders had too much fun acting out from the script Sakuya borrowed to realized that they had spent hours acting out their character to mind dinner.

"Ugh... I didn't even realize that it was already this late! I'm so sorry, Tsumugi-san, for dragging you into this." Sakuya hastily apologized.

"Don't worry, Sakuya-san. I was the one who joined you on my own anyway, and I should be the one apologizing for making those ad-libs and stretching the story even longer." Tsumugi said, both leaders walking side by side as they enter the entranceway of Veludo Way.

"Ah! It's fine! I had lots of fun acting with you, Tsumugi-san! Plus, the tips you taught me were extremely helpful and helped me a lot, so it's not a problem!" Sakuya beamed at the older man, showing how grateful he is from receiving some useful tips from the theater veteran.

They were taking their time from reaching the dorms, both of them were silent as they passed by the central part of Veludo Way. Their attention darting from different street acts they find along the way, the bustling noise of people during the night, and the different theatre buildings around the area.

_'So many exciting plays, characters to act, and scripts to memorize- yet here I am losing motivation from all of it.'_ Tsumugi thought sadly, as he watches a street act that caught his attention.

He stopped on his tracks and observed how the actors play their part, how the woman acted out her movement, how the man showed some subtle changes, and every little detail he could come up with.

Yes, he knows he loves acting, knows he can never give it up. So why was he feeling like this? The feeling of emptiness and hollowness from the things you vowed to never give up and consider the most precious thing in the world.

Sakuya was silently observing the reformed Winter Troupe leader, already sensing that the older man has his own problems that he carried from the way they acted earlier but didn't say anything out of respect. He watched Tsumugi silently watching over the street act and saw that his eyes didn't have the usual shine a person usually held when doing or even watching the things they held dear to them. It's still there, he assumes, but not strong enough.

"When was the first time you realize you love acting on stage, Tsumugi-san?" Sakuya asked when the act was concluded, and the sea of people who watched the couple slowly depart. 

"The first time?" Tsumugi asked again, just to make sure he heard right since he was daydreaming. They slowly made their way back towards the dorm, now with something to talk about on their way home.

"Yup! for me, the first time I fell in love with acting was when I was in elementary school and watched a school play, act by a troupe outside of the school. They were so cool and calm as they acted their part even off stage when the alarms went off that we, as audiences, felt like we were part of their world! 'The show must go on.' It was such a fun experience, and it made acting even more fun when you act it out with the people who share the love for the stage!" Sakuya excitedly said, his eyes shining brightly from the mere thought of acting with his fellow troupe members.

Sakuya's question rendered Tsumugi silent, immediately noticing that the young lad must have felt his problem and fear even though he was hiding it carefully. Still, Tsumugi didn't answer.

"And it's amazing how everyone does their part to make a show successful. No matter how small your part or insignificant one may think of their role, the whole play could end up as a failure if one doesn't do their part. So be it an ensemble cast, the lights manager or even the prop makers, if they didn't do their job, the play could not even be performed in front of the audiences without them, don't you think so, Tsumugi-san?" Sakuya felt silly saying those to a veteran theatre actor such as Tsumugi, but seeing how the older man behaved earlier, this is the best thing he could do to lift his spirits.

They were almost at the dorms, Tsumugi realized, and yet, he still hasn't replied to any of Sakuya's question or even give his own thought. But somewhere at the back of his mind, he knows that he doesn't need to reply and that what Sakuya says is essential, so he continued to stay silent.

"And the best part? You get to act in different plays, in different characters, with different costumes with the people you enjoy acting with!" they were already at the front door of the dorms when Sakuya turned around and faced Tsumugi with a bright smile, who was listening intently all this time. He may have nothing to say, but Sakuya knows that the calm Winter Troupe leader is listening to him carefully.

"So, cheer up, Tsumugi-san! and let's go inside, everyone is waiting for us already." Sakuya smiled one last time to Tsumugi, who watched as Sakuya went inside the brightly lighted _genkan_ and greeted Izumi and an angry-looking Sakyo. 

Tsumugi, now alone outside the dorms, surrounded by darkness, street lights, and the light from the dorm, pondered what Sakuya said. Yes, he loves acting, but why? His mind remembered his elementary days, middle school days, high school, and even college days. He remembers how hectic it was during tech week, dress rehearsals, and the opening day. How sad they all were during the final day and how everyone behind the play cried after a successful performance. He remembers the time he and Tasuku lose sleep and almost flunk their majors because of theatre practices- everything.

Yes, he remembers why he loved acting so much.

Smiling fondly and with a newfound love for acting, Tsumugi slowly made his way to the brightly lighted _genkan_ of the dorm, greeted warmly by Izumi, Sakyo, and Sakuya, waiting for him to go inside. His heart felt lighter, his head now clearer-

With a ray of light shining at him, from the people he enjoyed acting with.

He stepped inside the light and prepared himself a long lecture from Sakyo-san.

**Author's Note:**

> I know the feeling of losing interest in something you claim to love doing- I was like that during my uni days and would intentionally flunk some plates because I have no motivation on finishing or even doing those in the first place. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading!


End file.
